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Anne's avatar

If my husband were regularly dropping bricks on my feet, how much would we focus on the fact that he doesn't intend any harm and that my whining about broken toes was annoying to him?

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Kathy's avatar

My husband never validates my feelings. If he does anything that shames or hurts me, he will twist things around so that whatever happened appears to be my fault and he won’t budge from this opinion. Then if I am frustrated or angry about him blaming me, he shames me about my anger and says I need to “see a therapist” about my anger. It’s a traumatic cycle that we go through and it’s getting the best of me.

It’s impossible for me to simply say that something he did upset me and expect any kind of understanding or support from him.

However, to everyone else he’s patient, supportive and kind. He’ll take up anyone’s side, and if I’m involved, his opinion is that I’m always the one who makes trouble.

I’m just heartbroken and lost and I honestly don’t know if it’s him or me anymore. I doubt myself so much which is not how I used to be.

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